Let’s drink a toast…

unto our host, to our fair fraternity

Today is the 140th anniversary of the founding of Phi Sigma Kappa.  Brotherhood, Scholarship and Character, and all that.

Brotherhood? Unquestionably, and in vast abundance.

Scholarship?  In my case, that happened AFTER I stepped away.

Character?  Us?  Yes.  Afterwards? Not so much

Truth in Advertising
Truth in Advertising


This did not happen

I did not see this car in Kalamazoo, driving near the old frat house.

Bugatti Veyron L'Or Blanc

That’s one cracking motor! Brave owner parks his unique £1.6m Bugatti Veyron supercar made of PORCELAIN in Paris street | Mail Online.

I did not shoot it with my puny p/s.  Brenda Priddy was not there. She did not totally scoop me or this website with her spyness and armloads of SLRs with 1000mm lenses.

I was also not at Waldo’s, nor were people walking around naked on dares.

It’s a shame, really, because that would have been a better day than the one that actually happened.  Stupid REM sleep.  So much promise; so little delivery.

I Went to a Garden Party…

Mmmm winter.  Time to party in the student ghetto.  Pod knows of a cozy little bash.  Ever the nonchalant one, he sidles up to all the pretty girls at school as  if he’s known them forever.  Phid, on the other hand, has more of an end game approach.  He gets more, earlier; Pod’s are more loyal down the road.  They brought you because: you’re buds, there’s more than enough to go around, you can be wingman for both and maybe one of the babes has a desperate friend or an appropriately low standards.
Continue reading “I Went to a Garden Party…”

Cereal City Blues

It’s Fall 1983. If you had bothered to attend class, this should have been the start of your junior year in college. Instead, it’s your first semester back:

Classes are good, the football you’re interested in is good (other than losing a bet to Cripley. Stupid Illinois.), Building pallets with Phid for beer money works just fine.

October means Homecoming. At Western, that means a loss to the fighting David Lettermans of Ball State. It also means time to party. Continue reading “Cereal City Blues”

That’s one

Herron, Toussaint Strike Twice, Michigan Whips WMU in Shortened Opener

ANN ARBOR, Mich. — Senior weakside linebacker Brandon Herron (Stafford, Texas/Dulles) became the first Wolverine in school history to post two defensive scores in a single contest, helping lead the University of Michigan football to a 34-10 win over Western Michigan in the 2011 season opener, which was declared final with 1:27 in the third quarter due to weather on Saturday (Sept. 3) inside Michigan Stadium. The victory is head coach Brady Hoke‘s first at the helm of the Michigan program.

The one about that girl at Osco

In the spring of 1989, I sheepishly returned to the College of Arts and Sciences with hat in hand, begging for forgiveness for the nuclear wasteland of my first two semesters, and the subsequent years of minimum wage bullshit and the Meister Brau diet and living the Blutarsky lifestyle with the bare minimum amount of community college classes needed to stay eligible and avoid paying rent.

Continue reading “The one about that girl at Osco”

Chapter Advisor FAIL – why are you people counting on me?


Maybe we should chug on over to namby-pamby land where maybe we can find some self confidence for you ya jackwagons – R. Lee Ermey

My proud examples:

Frank.  Frank was an ordinary dude with a job at First of America.  I thought he was entitled to god-status as the big dude of the chapter.  He came through the drive through at the BK Lounge.  I piled him up with chicken sandwiches and extra fries.

Karma:  Then you called him a chicken for driving a Toyota Celica.  Nice.  Dumbass.

Frank was the dude, for Get a Date, Don’t be late.  Frank was the dude when I got laid and dutifully reported back.

Frank was there for a couple of years. Continue reading “Chapter Advisor FAIL – why are you people counting on me?”

Johnny Blaze

Chevrolet K5 Blazer TC Phi Sigma Kappa
Surprising amounts of cargo room

TC:  What did you do wrong?
:  I took your truck without asking.
TC: What else?
Crabs:  I drove it to Ann Arbor
TC: What else?
Crabs: …while fucked up.
TC: What else?
Crabs:  …and I took the keg
TC: What else?
Crabs: … and three frat brothers
TC: What else?
Crabs:  …and we stole a sign.

Continue reading “Johnny Blaze”