Animal House

OOO, I am so impressed
Chi O’s may know how to party, but their back seat parlors need an upgrade.

I understood why the girls of “A Chi O” would not associate with us, just as I understood the privilege of the Alpha Phi’s deigning to appear at a joint party with Phi Sigma Kappa and the Fijis.

  1. Money.  They had it, we didn’t.
  2. Class.  They wished, we didn’t.

But the girls of “Chi O”?  Hanging with them was almost as impossible – once, maybe twice a year.  The Phi Mus would be over in a heartbeat.  The DZs were always up for a good time, and the AOPies were usually good sports.  But Chi O?

It couldn’t be the money – they rented out a dorm from Western after losing their house.

It couldn’t be that or class, as this parking lot shows:

  • 1977 base Firebird – equivalent to Pretty Boy.  Also mostly shit.
  • 1978 AMC Concord – complete shit
  • 1978 Ford Fiesta – same as Sheen.  Not complete shit, but cheap.
  • 1979 Ford Pinto – slightly less explosive than Piller’s Pinto, but still beyond complete shit
  • 1979 4 cyl Mustang – same as Gingerman and Hummelberg.  Also, just a shitty truncated Fairmont.

You girls weren’t even Bimmer-driving poseurs, so what gives?  It’s me drunk humping the legs of everyone on your executive board, isn’t it?  (That or the fact that the Tekes and their ample doobage supplies were a lot closer.)

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New York New York

Despite what your drunken penis-brain tells you, that hot redhead who reminds you of Louise (Padlock’s girlfriend) on the hysterical historical geology road trip to Niagara Falls is NOT hot for you. This is not the first time you will confuse a girl that talks to you with one who is interested in you. It’s […]

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Get a Date, Don’t Be Late

Chicks will totally put out on a mercy date, right?
I’d like to thank the Academy…
  • Tickets to Founders Day Banquet: $20
  • Ride with some goof named Al: Free
  • Getting a semi-hot date you have absolutely no chance of scoring with 40 minutes before the party starts?: $20 (for the tickets, dipshit). You can get shot down for free anytime you want, and pretty much every time you don’t want.
  • Cheesy award from Scott (which you keep for 25 years) because you at least didn’t go stag, thereby beating the over/under : Obviously priceless.

The pic is from a different banquet, although the girl in the red dress could very well have been my pity date from the award. ^^

Ruth, Pickles, Sue Z, Cripley, Leah, Gingerman
Doesn’t this look worth it?
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Elliot Uzelac wept…

CMU Bastards steal a win KALAMAZOO, Mich. (AP) – Quarterback Dan LeFevour scored on a keeper from 1-yard out with 12 seconds left, giving Central Michigan a 34-31 victory Tuesday night over Western Michigan, clinching the Mid-American Conference West title. The Chippewas (6-4, 5-0 MAC) hadn’t won at WMU since 1993. Prime Time national TV […]

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Good Night, Sweet Prince

“Now cracks a noble oil pan heart. Good-night sweet prince, And flights of angels sing thee to the junk yard thy rest.” – Horatio Caine on Mel Gibson (Hamlet, act V, scene ii) It was 20 years ago today (give or take) that the 1976 Mercury Marquis bit it. Phi Sigma Kappa from CMU came […]

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Jody No. 2

The cute one. Well, the first cute one.  Jody #3 was pretty hot, too. Jody #1 had, uh, a great personality! she transferred to “my” BK Lounge – Immediate OMG reaction.  Beyond what happens when a girl actually talks to me. Life with Jody was Party Central:

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