What did we learn?
- “Hold on, I’m tweeting this” is not the right answer
What did we learn?
Goddammit.
– Me, after doing the due diligence a little late.
Evidently, I don’t get to both express myself freely and do so without risking some sort of “your self-deprecating jokes are hurtful to me” response, even though there’s no names and no point about anyone else. There’s gotta be a Costanza for this moment of Zen.
Nah, too meta.
Read more "Goddammit"The thing with Doyette. Or whatever the fuck her name was:
Doyette (OWTFHNW): Hi. How’s your day?
Me: Great. How’s yours.
Later…
Doyette (after a few vodka craberries, I am guessing): Asshole
Me: Learn a new word.
Read more "Tinder Mercies"
When your neighbor shows up to mandatory drug testing and blows a 0.3, plus has weed and meth in his system. #FredoWang
Read more "Trailer Nation"What’s NOT normal about making not for distribution pictures into your background for 3 minutes and chats that last until 5 a.m. (local) and include advice about banging some dude that isn’t you and about dealing with your limes? It’s all part of the service. We just call it “Saturday.”
Read more "Texts With Chicks"What is it called when you’re on the phone with a girl, and getting drunk messaged by the back in the saddle girl who is misremembering 2007 while partying in the town where the ex wife now lives?
A: no idea, but it might explain waking up alone and a tad bit gutpunched by Budweiser.
Mr. Superlative. Mr. Irresistible. You will know me by the names nobody uses.
Read more "nicknames"Texts With Girls, cont’d
Read more "Texts With Girls, cont’d"Her: I’m happy being your muse.
Me: It’s good to have a purpose in life.
Texts With Girls part 1,005:
Read more "Texts With Girls"Her: Shoot me now.
Me: Bang.
My inner frat boy: Now I can say I banged her!
In our previous episode, we were headed to the Goathead Saloon.
Nope. Closed, for sale, DOA.
Deader than SAE after the YouTube.
Read more "Southern Host"